How a Teen With Developmental Delays Taught Me Universal Teaching Strategies for All Kids
*Sadie’s mom was in hospice care and the train wreck of her life was in progress.
When I began teaching Sadie, a sixteen-year-old with developmental delays and facing the imminent loss of her only caregiver, I had to redefine my teaching strategies.
The complex web of her life's challenges--including both academic struggles and trauma--was daunting, and I was not prepared.
Understanding Sadie's Challenges
I had a stack of test results—cognitive, psychological, and standardized tests. All of them had words like ‘limited potential,’ ‘social anxiety,’ ‘attachment disorder.’ She was scoring at a fourth-grade level, had visual impairment, sensory impairment, and the hardest—Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
The system had labeled Sadie.
It was a bleak picture. And conventional schooling methods had failed her. The task was not just about education; it was about rebuilding her confidence.
My heart sank. I was in over my head, with no background in special needs, or behavioral issues. I had agreed to teach her for two years until she turned eighteen.
My Flawed Approach
I almost gave up before I’d started. The train wreck of her life was marching forward, and I didn’t know what to do. I consulted experts. And more experts. The more Sadie was evaluated, the worse everything became. She had shut down almost completely.
She faced other aptitude issues—attention, concentration, small motor coordination, reasoning and problem-solving, and identifying consequences.
While I felt the need to diagnose, none of that information helped me, or her.
The ‘diagnoses’ didn’t come with a plan of action. They didn’t give me a road map for helping her gain enough skills in the next two years to be a functional adult.
I needed to learn more about teaching methods designed for diverse learners.
I struggled for months, trying to find a baseline, but failing. One day she’d know where The US was located on a world map, the next she didn’t know which was the North Pole (Did she need to?). One day her writing would be in complete sentences, the next it rambled.
I was attached to the idea that progress was about retaining information. She didn’t retain information well. I needed to rethink—everything.
My New Strategy
A few months in, I had an epiphany. I threw out all my worries about standards, grades, and subjects she should know, and started talking with her, focusing on her likes--graphic novels, cats, superhero movies, and fashion.
I told her to forget the tests and labels, we were starting with a clean slate.
My new goal? Help her gain practical skills that she’d need as an adult.
Here’s what we did:
We focused on skills (not subjects)--reading, math, and information science (how to find practical information she might need).
We started at the very beginning (kindergarten level) so she would have small wins and feel encouraged. I removed all markers of grade level and all testing.
I told her we’d move at her pace—when she learned a skill and knew how to apply it, we would move on to the next skill.
We related everything to her life experiences.
I encouraged her to ask questions, no matter how small. Why? Because asking questions wakes up the brain and the fact of asking signifies a process of identifying the problem. She had shut down so completely she didn’t know how to form a question.
I focused on Learner-Centered Strategies.
How I Tailored My Curriculum
I developed a curriculum revolving around practical skills crucial for her future independence.
I connected skills learning to her life experiences to make it more relatable.
My approach was hands-on, using visual aids like blocks for counting and flashcards for vocabulary, index cards for making a step-by-step process.
I talked with her as much as possible, asking open-ended questions to improve her communication skills.
Build on Small Victories
Recognizing Sadie's need for consistency and repetition, I established a routine schedule and removed all distractions from her learning space. This structure, combined with the focus on small, achievable goals, gradually built her confidence.
A couple of months later, she had started seeing herself differently. For the first time, she understood what was going on, she was getting the correct answers on math problems. She was gradually using more correct words in her writing and more complete sentences. Her ability to communicate clearly and with the correct words improved.
I complimented her frequently on her efforts, her progress, and her wins. I noted to her how she was gaining skills.
She responded positively.
A year in, she had made a lot of progress, but she was still scared—about gaining life skills and facing adulthood.
My Problem Solving Strategies
To help Sadie develop confidence in learning, I broke new skills down into very small chunks and created a step-by-step roadmap for her for each new skill.
I wrote out the steps on a ‘cheat sheet.’
The most important step: I asked her to identify what the task was. Say, it was a word problem in math. I asked her to tell me what kind of answer the problem wanted. And how it might be useful in real life. And I had her practice real-life applications using the skill.
She practiced learning new skills using a step-by-step roadmap for each skill until she could repeat the steps without the roadmap.
The Effect of Diverse Learning Methods
My new clean slate mindset helped me forget about the labels and focus on her as a person, not a set of problems.
She had vision and attention issues that I couldn’t solve, but I could find workarounds.
I started using multisensory learning to help her learn and retain skills.
I presented material in visual (both text and pictures), auditory, and hands-on formats so she would have more than one way to relate to new information and make more connections.
For example, we talked over things she read so that she could take in information in both visual and auditory formats. She repeated back what she understood and what the steps were to work through a problem or assignment.
My focus was on making connections and using whatever workaround I could find to do that.
Prioritize Real-Life Challenges—and Skills
Sadie's eighteenth birthday was coming up. Our time was limited.
I prioritized life skills over traditional academic subjects. This included basic financial management, health education, and practical living skills like cooking and cleaning.
Everything on the list had a practical application for adult living. Sadie knew this and calmed down when she saw that what I wanted for her was a path to solving some of her deepest fears about facing adulthood.
I secretly had a huge stretch goal for her too—to gain a job skill before she turned eighteen.
Shift to Teamwork Mode
Sadia started viewing me as ‘on her team’ and gradually became more actively engaged in working to gain life skills.
As she became more capable, she started seeing herself differently. Things made sense to her, and she could place ideas in context.
She found it easier to focus.
She got serious about learning. She tried.
Her fears changed to goals.
Goal Setting
She needed regular, frequent repetition, structure, and consistency.
She needed to believe she could do it.
She needed small, achievable goals.
She needed a roadmap to get there.
The difference was—now she wanted to get there. She had goals and wanted to meet them.
We rehearsed strategies together: the step-by-step roadmaps, how to make them on her own when faced with a new task, how to break down an idea into smaller chunks.
She moved from graphic novels to chapter books. She went from short paragraphs to page long mini essays. Her vocabulary improved. Her thought process was less scrambled.
Achieving Milestones
We talked about stretch goals—a job skill and a driver’s license, and the steps to achieving those goals. Sadie wanted to achieve these stretch goals also.
We focused on the job skill first: certification as a nurse’s assistant.
There were a lot of steps to get there, starting with passing a pre-algebra test, the requirement to take a one-semester nurse’s aide class at the community college. The class would qualify her to do basic care and hygiene for adults in nursing homes.
Suddenly math had a clear, practical purpose. Sadie dug in and worked hard.
She got A++ for effort. She focused less on her weaknesses and leaned more into her strengths. She was scared and battled a lot of internal demons as well as developmental delays.
She was also determined. She believed she could do it.
She failed the math test the first couple times—but she’d come close. She did not give up. I refined her step-by-step study guide. She practiced more. We rehearsed her strategy for identifying math problems and solving them.
Third time’s a charm. She passed. And six months later, after a whole lot of hard work, she passed a state exam certifying her to be an aide.
It was a huge win less than two years after we started working together. She earned that win a thousand times over. I knew it would be very hard for her to retain the math (fortunately she didn’t need to use the math in the job). I also knew it would be hard for her to retain the protocols that she had to demonstrate to pass the exam without constant practice. She spent her months before turning eighteen doing a volunteer program at a nursing home to maintain her skills.
What Sadie did:
Became engaged in her learning roadmap
Identified the skills she needed and why
Learned step-by-step strategies for learning
Learned to keep herself focused by removing distractions
Learned to keep a schedule
Learned a set of practical, life skills that would help her figure things out
What she accomplished:
She graduated from high school.
Gained a job skill.
By twenty she got a driver's license. She got a job and held it.
She became her own success story.
How We Can Use Integrated Learning Strategies for All Kids
Those two years were transformative for both Sadie and me.
I learned the importance of:
individualized teaching methods
seeing the person first not the label
focusing on a person’s strengths
finding workarounds and out-of-the-box strategies
the value of real-life applications.
Sadie's story is a powerful example of the potential within each child, regardless of their starting point.
It shows how adaptive, learner-centered strategies can unlock every child's potential. Every child can learn, grow, and develop confidence--wherever they are.
As educators, our role extends beyond imparting knowledge; it's about inspiring confidence and resilience in our kids, and equipping them with the skills they need for life.
The methods that worked for Sadie can work for all kids regardless of their situation. Why? Because all kids learn better when learning is:
Multisensory, and uses flexible, adaptive methods
Focused on relevant, real-life connections
Recognizes the difference between skills and subject learning
Focused on learning mastery rather than on testing
Focused on problem-solving as a life skill
Focused on teaching kids how to break learning into small chunks and create step-by-step roadmaps
Focused on small wins and progress instead of judgment
Tailored to the individual's needs and interests
Focused on building resilience and confidence
Takeaways
Sadie had a lot of challenging moments in her two years. It wasn’t all a straight shot and clear upward trajectory.
I also had a lot to learn. I made a lot of mistakes. I had to make my own roadmap for how to teach her. I learned to overlook a lot of negatives and stay focused on the positives.
I threw out all preconceived ideas and chose to see her as a person. I chose ‘team Sadie.’
When she figured out I was on her team, she started engaging (gradually). She started believing she could learn. She started seeing herself differently. And she made huge strides.
Did she recover from the many traumas? No, that type of healing may be a lifelong process. But she learned to keep herself going. She learned to see herself as a capable person.
We can apply all the same strategies to every child. Every child’s outcome will be different, but we can give every child the best chance possible.
Her situation challenged me beyond what I thought were my limits. I learned to stretch my limits and push myself, try harder, be more open-minded, and find more interactive, relevant ways of helping her learn.
In the end, I learned a lot from Sadie. And I’m really proud of her.
