How to Use a Soccer Coaching Strategy to Improve Your Kid's Confidence in Learning
Game Plan 101
My kids have played soccer since they were five.
At five they ran on the field like a flock of geese, chasing after the ball as it rolled haphazardly across the field. When it veered off course, they laughed, then ran and bunched around it and kicked at it again.
Teams were a vague concept at best. Offense, defense? Ideas with little practical relevance. Goals? Something to cheer for, regardless of which goal the ball rolled into.
Most kids were unclear on the rules of the game, but one thing was clear.
They were having a great time.
As parents, we cheered them on from the sidelines. Sure, there was the occasional helicopter parent who yelled at their kid to get out in front and WIN, but mostly we and the coaches were focused on encouraging our kids.
Game Plan 101: Applying Soccer Strategies to Schooling
While the kids were having fun on the soccer field, they were also trying their best, meeting challenges, improving their skills, learning teamwork, and gaining resilience. Why? To have more fun, of course.
And the parent-coaches?
They used an ‘I Can’ Coaching Mindset’(Aside from the stray coach who still had something to prove from high school that manifested as overzealous pressuring.).
The kids responded with enthusiasm. They practiced every week, did their drills, chased after stray balls, and got — 1% better with each step and pass and kick.
It’s this mindset that we should adopt and apply to ‘school learning.’
We need to throw out the traditional school learning model which does not instill confidence, allow for creativity, personal growth, or develop an ‘I Can’ mindset in kids.
Coaching is an ideal strategy to build your kid’s ‘I Can’ attitude. Soccer isn’t just a game; it’s a masterclass in effective learning strategies.
The Pitfalls of Fear-Based Learning
The traditional ‘school learning’ approach uses a counterproductive, one-size-fits-all approach.
Failure in school can become a child’s greatest fear. This dread can lead to a paralyzing stress that stifles curiosity and hampers their ability to focus.
As a parent, I’ve seen how a fear-driven environment can erode self-esteem.
We don’t need to do that to our kids. There is no reason we can’t adopt constructive coaching strategies for both on AND off-the-field learning.
The Soccer Strategy for Personal Growth
In soccer, goals aren’t just about the score; they’re also about personal growth.
The coach sets small goals for each kid in practice. This helps each kid build an internal roadmap for improvement, one step at a time.
We can take this simple idea and apply it to school learning.
We can help our kids set small, achievable goals — solve a math problem, or complete a reading passage. Just like in soccer practice, the goals don’t need to be big, they just need to feel like achievable wins.
The goals also need to be tailored specifically to your kid.
The soccer coaching strategy aims to help each kid do their personal best and achieve the goal in front of them — make the pass, or kick, whatever it may be.
Goal setting helps kids challenge themselves to do their personal best. It challenges them to pick themselves up and keep trying, and to keep their eyes set on bigger goals.
It’s the opposite of taking every stumble, missed kick or incorrect answer on a math problem as a failure.
It’s also the opposite of thinking that your kid’s success/goals need to be measured in comparison to their peers. If your kid is brilliant at math but takes longer to get the hang of reading chapter books, does it really matter? They’re going to figure it out in time.
Goal setting also helps kids learn ‘fair play’ and being a good sport.
If you (the five-year-old kid) didn’t win this time, keep going, stay positive, and try again. There’s no space for letting one stumble get you down.
Pick yourself back up and keep trying with a positive attitude.
The next goal is always in front of you and your coach is there to cheer you on.
And by extension, you can also cheer on your teammates. Celebrate their wins too.
An ‘I Can’ + ‘Good Sport’ Mindset is a winning combination!
How to Use Struggle Effectively
When kids struggle in soccer, the coach is there with words of encouragement.
The coach rehearses the list of ‘to dos’ with each kid and keeps them moving. There’s no downtime. Mistakes are understood as a necessary part of improvement. They are not viewed as something to fear or get stuck on.
Picture the first time your kid tried juggling the ball around bright orange cones in a practice drill. They missed. And the ball rolled all the way down the field instead of zigzagging between the cones — about the first thousand times they did this drill.
Does anyone say to your kid, ‘What is wrong with you? You’re terrible at this?’ No, the coach (a good one anyway) expects your kid to run after the rogue ball, bring it back — and try again.
Each attempt makes your kid better. Your kid is learning every single time they try. They are not failing — they are learning.
Yet in traditional schooling approaches, when we test kids and they don’t get a stellar grade, we take this as a sign that they aren’t good at X.
We move on. We don’t design more practice sessions or personalized training sessions. We give them the impression they are just not measuring up.
We are in effect, setting kids up for failure by:
A) making them fear mistakes.
B) moving on instead of offering constructive feedback, more practice sessions, and seeing ‘mistakes’ as necessary steps to learning.
Practice Taking a Victory Lap with Your Kid
In soccer, every win is a cause for celebration. This tradition of recognizing achievements — big and small — keeps kids focused on the positive.
In one of my son’s first soccer games, he kicked the ball extra hard and scored a goal ‘Woo hoo!’ But wait — he had kicked the ball in the opposite direction and scored a goal for the other team!
A Mistake? A Failure? Naw. The kids were all cheering (at age five any goal is exciting). The parents and coaches focused on the positive too and celebrated his effort rather than pointing out his ‘mistake.’
Just as it is important to have small goals, it’s important to take the wins and see each one as a step forward. It’s about continuous progress.
The Coaching Strategy
Let’s take each step of the coaching strategy and apply it to school learning.
The goal? Create a supportive learning environment and empower our kids.
Steps:
1) See all efforts kids put toward mastering a skill as practice and learning — steps toward improvement, not as either a ‘success’ or ‘failure.’
2) Teach kids how to set small achievable goals
3) Coach our kids with practice sessions tailored for them — whether it’s reading, math, writing, or soccer.
4) Give them constructive feedback in the form of, “Here’s what you’re doing well. Here’s where we can improve your ‘game.’” View feedback as a valuable process of improvement.
5) Reinforce the positive to build confidence and motivation.
6) Recognize that each child learns at their own pace.
7) Cheer on kids’ small wins.
If we adopt this mindset we are creating positive reinforcement loops for our kids. We are empowering them to improve step by step. We are helping them build confidence and see life through an ‘I can’ mindset.
The Takeaway?
Be that person in your kid’s life who cheers them on. Use a strategic coaching plan to help them get there.
We do not need to spend another minute of our, or our kid’s time, focusing on making them feel bad, or that they’ve failed.
Let’s throw out that mindset for good.
Let’s embrace an ‘I Can’ mindset and coach our kids toward improvement. Let’s focus every minute of our time and effort on helping our kids achieve their personal best.
Let’s focus on helping our kids lean into their strengths, meet their challenges, and learn the resilience to stay in the game.
And hopefully, have some fun while they’re at it.