How to Use Micro Choices to Make Homeschooling Easier and More Effective
Sometimes the biggest results stem from the smallest actions done consistently
Our homeschool days were (mostly) harmonious. I used to take pride in how helpful and ready to learn my kids were.
But… we too had those days when I jumped ahead and wanted to push through and get lessons done instead of paying attention to how my kids felt and were responding.
Normally we started our day with 1-2 hours of group reading on topics from fiction to history and science. My kids loved it, our reading sparked their curiosity, led us down rabbit holes, and got them excited about ideas.
It was also easier than starting our day with math. So by the time we got to math, the kids were awake, ready to take on challenges, and felt they’d had choices and ‘voice and choice’ in their learning already… through our reading.
But on those other days… when I skipped steps and jumped into my schedule just to get stuff done, I was met with resistance. Moody kids. ‘I can’t’ mindsets. And ‘When are we getting a snack?’ questions.
My kids weren’t resisting learning exactly (though truth be told, math wasn’t their favorite subject on any day)… What they were resisting was the feeling of having no say or control over their learning.
I hadn’t given them the same level of voice and choice when I skipped ahead to ‘getting lessons done’ mode.
On the days I gave my kids micro choices—what to read, which order to read in, what snack to have—they were noticeably more engaged.
Giving kids micro choices is a way to help them take ownership of their learning.
This in turn reduces resistance and helps them learn to make low-risk decisions—such as choosing where to study, which activity to start with, or how to demonstrate their understanding—and learn from the consequences in a constructive way.
These small choices throughout the day, every day, help kids learn independence, motivate them, and help them become a collaborator in their learning rather than a passive (resistant) learner.
These tiny choices, made throughout the day, help kids become more independent, stay motivated, and shift from passive (or resistant) learners to being actively engaged in learning.
Why micro choices matter in homeschooling
Micro choices are the ‘this or that’ options we give kids at each step of the day. They are small and low-risk. And they invite kids to have a say. Kids in turn are less likely to push back when they feel included in decision making.
For example, my kids loved having a choice of snack—they liked weighing in on whether we’d do peanut butter on apple slices or cheese cubes with baby carrots (yes, we really did make healthy snacks). They wanted a say in how the snack looked and how many pieces everyone could have. Because they wanted a say, snack time was often a math lesson in division and skip counting without them ever noticing it.
When I gave them a choice of when to do a subject—math first or writing?—it gave them a chance to think about their day. Expressing preference and accepting the consequence of their choice meant they learned to take responsibility for their learning. If they were stuck with math problems waiting to be completed by late afternoon when they wanted to do other things, they knew they could change their choice tomorrow.
Looking back, I realized the difference between the relaxed, easy-flowing days and the resistance-filled ones came down to one simple factor—micro choices.
Micro choices give kids a way to feel invested and connected in learning.
They help kids learn how to be self-directed. When I was teaching my daughter to read, we played lots of phonics games. I’d ask her which game we should start with, which set of sight word cards, which colors to use when writing letters…micro choices.
Even very young kids can handle micro choice well. Imagine your two-year-olds just learning to dress themselves and getting to choose shirt A or shirt B, or whether they can take toy A or B with them on your morning trek to the park. It’s empowering to have a say. It makes everyone feel included and intentional.
Types of micro choices you can offer
Giving kids choices increases their motivation and interest in learning. But too many choices or false choices can be overwhelming or have negative consequences.
For example, there is a big difference between asking your young child what they want to do today, giving them a choice of six different toys/snacks/activities, or giving them two choices. Two choices are a manageable scope.
You can do this throughout the day by offering simple, either or choices limited to 2 and possibly 3 options to avoid overwhelm and keep options doable:
Choice in Materials – "Do you want to read the book or listen to the audiobook?"
Choice in Learning Order – "Do you want to do science before or after lunch?"
Choice in Setting – "Do you want to do your work outside or at the desk or on the couch?" Simple but empowering options for kids.
Choice in Tools – "Do you want to use a notebook or a whiteboard? Colored pencils or regular?” Simple, yet meaningful choices for kids. Especially younger kids who may benefit from additional kinesthetic approaches to working and making connections with language and math.
Choice in Approach – "Would you rather watch a short video first or read about it?"
Choice in Output – "Do you want to write a report, draw a comic, or create a short video?" My son hated writing reports, but when I let him create a short presentation instead, he poured hours into it and learned the material even better.
Choice in Timing – "Would you rather do 30 minutes now and 15 later, or all 45 minutes at once?" My kids tested this option several times before ultimately deciding they preferred doing ‘assignment x’ in one chunk and being done. But it was their choice.
These types of choices are small in scope, give kids a sense of ownership, and are immediate options that kids can grasp and imagine. These types of choices are also things you as a parent can offer easily without your child’s response upending your day. Notebook or whiteboard is easy—for you and your kid.
How to introduce micro choices effectively
It’s important when offering choices to ensure they are an actual choice your child can make, and that you can make good on what they choose, even if you think it’s a ‘bad choice.’
Here are some guidelines for how to use micro choice in a constructive way for both you and your child:
Start Small – If your child isn’t used to making decisions, begin with one or two choices.
Use ‘This or That’ Questions – Provide structured options instead of open-ended ones to reduce overwhelm.
Keep Choices Age-Appropriate – Younger kids need fewer, simpler choices; older kids can handle more autonomy.
Model Decision-Making – Demonstrate how you make decisions to help your child learn. Ask open-ended questions to help them think through the consequences of the choices you are giving (if they need support making a choice).
Allow for Natural Consequences – Let them experience the results of their choices For example, if your child, like mine did, chooses to do math late in the day when they feel tired, let them learn from that. It’s a low-risk choice with valuable consequences that will help them improve their decision-making skills.
Don’t use ‘fake’ choice—The choice you offer should be a genuine option, not a ‘veiled threat’ as in: ‘Either you eat your veggies or go to bed.’ That is not a constructive micro choice intended as an empowering teaching tool.
Takeaways
Once you teach yourself how to use micro choice, it’s amazing how many mini-options we can offer our kids throughout the day to help them feel heard. It might be a bit of a learning curve for you and your child if this is new, but from my experience, it is well worth the effort.
Giving your child micro choice will help reduce resistance, and increase your child’s happiness, enthusiasm, and interest in learning. It will help them develop a sense of agency and responsibility and confidence in decision-making.
And the final takeaway?
Micro choices are one of the easiest ways to transform your homeschooling experience. No big overhaul needed—just a few small decisions each day. Try it today: offer your child two choices about their learning, and watch their response.