Standards Are Great, Until They Lose Sight Of The Child
A call for life-centered education
I was a good student—straight A’s, top college, the kind of success the system rewards.
I was lucky, the system rewarded me, so I felt inspired to keep working and keep getting good grades. But what it didn’t inspire in me was an intrinsic motivation to learn… or learn HOW to learn.
All that mattered was where I fell on a standards chart.
But when I graduated, diploma in hand, I realized I didn’t have the skills I needed for life—like how to think critically, solve problems, or apply my academic skills to real life.
Years later, when I’d been homeschooling my three kids for about ten years, I started teaching a teen. *Jo was in the public school system and failing most of her classes, particularly tenth-grade math.
Her mom’s goal? Understandably,… help her daughter pass the next test so she wouldn’t have to repeat the class.
Her daughter’s success was measured by test results. Not by learning. And that standard was a symbol of the stress kids feel when their unique and human needs, including learning how to learn and feeling valued, are not being met.
I tutored Jo in math. I took math off the page and put it into real life with hands-on examples. That connection helped Jo remember and understand how the math worked. It helped give math real-world meaning. It also helped Jo feel like she mattered.
Jo passed her tests, but her understanding—and confidence—remained shaky. Without time to rebuild her foundation, the system moved on, leaving her behind.
The system uses test scores as an indicator of learning.
It’s understandable in a large-scale system that people want to streamline tracking and use standards, but what happens when the scores don’t evidence actual learning? And worse, when the stress they create shuts kids down, makes them feel unseen, unvalued, dehumanized, and incapable-–both of learning and of becoming someone who matters?
There is a better way. A different way to teach kids. Prioritize the child, not the test.
But how?
Build an education that mirrors life
We have a system in place that prioritizes measurable outcomes, often at the expense of the child—their growth, lived experience, and ability to learn.
We can change that by creating learning environments that prioritize kids over fixed norms.
After all, what good did it do Jo to pass the test and still not know any math she could use—especially in real life? Making math come alive was a start, but it had only a temporary impact.
And how much good did my expensive college degree do when I walked out the metaphorical gates and realized I needed life skills?
What happens to kids who start to shut down, feel lost, and can’t catch up once they start falling behind? What good are standards when it’s kids we need to support, and we’re struggling to do that effectively?
An important side note: My questions in no way reflect poorly on the many teachers out there who are mentoring, encouraging, and being that person for a child every day. My point is that, as a society, we need to rethink how we teach kids and what our priorities are.
Michael Strong addresses this point when he highlights the transformative potential of homeschooling and microschooling in his recent article, “Betting on Homeschooling and Microschooling”. He notes the ability of small-scale educational models to break free from the limitations of traditional schooling and the resulting value for kids.
Building on this idea that small-scale schools and adaptive, personalized learning environments are key, I believe we must go further by reimagining education as a process deeply connected to life, curiosity, and children’s individual humanity.
Small-scale, personalized learning environments allow kids to thrive in ways large systems often can’t. They prioritize the child over the standard.
Education can—and should—prepare kids for life by being adaptable, child-centered, people-oriented, focused on both academic AND life skills, and real-world experience.
As Michael Strong points out, the flexibility inherent in homeschooling and microschooling provides an unparalleled opportunity to tailor education to the individual needs of kids—something traditional schooling often fails to achieve.
We need to focus on creating an environment that will support kids like Jo from grade one so they can learn and not become another statistic.
We already know the statistics:
Teachers are leaving or thinking of leaving the school system at rapidly growing rates. Parents from all demographics across race, income level, political affiliation, and education level are pulling their kids out of school to start ‘Home Educating’ (my umbrella term for any type of alternative, child-centered education).
Why? Because it is adaptable, learner-centered, and can offer a chance for kids to learn how to learn--while keeping their humanity intact. These statistics point to a need for a better way.
How to shift from test-driven and curriculum-driven to curiosity-driven
Most of us might agree we want our kids to meet basic standards in terms of reading, writing, and math. And standards for history, science, etc.
But why? Have we stopped to consider the WHY? What do we want our kids to be able to do with all those skills and information?
It’s a valid question. For example, when an adult takes an online course, the course not only lists ‘features’, it specifies the benefits and the value the learner will gain. If you take a course in SEO as a writer, for example, one of the benefits you can hope to see is understanding how to use keywords effectively so that you can improve the visibility of your articles and gain authority in your field—a tangible, real-world outcome. The phrase ‘so that’ is key. It tells the learner what they can do with this skill.
Now, apply the same idea to educational goals or standards for the core skills we teach kids.
Ask yourself what the purpose of each skill is:
Reading: so they can explore any idea their curiosity inspires them to.
Writing: so they can communicate their ideas fluently.
Math: so they can manage everyday life like cooking or handling finances.
History and Science: so they can think critically and solve problems.
The goal of each of these core skills is real-life application and integration with life skills.
It is hard to do this in an educational setting that prioritizes fixed tests. But it is far easier and less stressful for kids to help them learn life skills in a child-centered, curiosity-driven learning environment.
For example, Montessori, Waldorf, Charlotte Mason, Reggio Emilia, inquiry-based learning, and others focus on the child. The child is an active participant in their learning. They learn core skills through hands-on, adaptive, and active learning—and how to apply those skills in life.
These alternative learning environments and teaching methods give kids a clear understanding of the value and benefits of the skills they are learning.
Kids learn because they are interested… so that they can follow their dreams and be the best version of themselves.
I met Jo again recently. She’s a young adult struggling to understand basic math concepts she needs to do her taxes or handle her finances. After that brief time I helped her pass tenth-grade math, she struggled to survive the system.
She’s not alone. She’s an example of a kid who could’ve benefitted from a personalized education that slowed down enough to help her learn concepts and how to apply them in real life.
I also taught another teen who had learning disabilities and had been pulled out of traditional school because she was failing at everything and getting bullied. By the time *Sarah was fifteen, she was scoring between second and fourth-grade levels in all basic skills. She was a casualty of a system.
By the time I worked with her, she no longer saw herself as capable of pretty much anything. She didn’t care or pretended not to and was miserable.
What happened? Well, I admit it was not my finest moment. When I saw her test scores, I reverted to an earlier version of me—the one who believed an old, false, but ingrained idealogy that test scores equated to ability and learning. Even after years of homeschooling my three kids, I reverted to prioritizing the numbers—the scores over the person.
Until I shook myself out of it and looked at Sarah as a person, got on her side, and became her person.
We need to see children as whole, capable learners
What happened when I connected with Sarah? I threw away her test results for starters. I started talking with her—not about academics—about her, what she liked, what she was interested in. She started trusting me and believing I had her back.
I told her I knew she could learn, but no one had ever helped her learn how to learn. I told her we were going to rebuild her foundation of learning so she would have the skills to learn. She believed me.
No tests, no grades, no grade level. Highly personalized education.
We started back at first-grade math, reading, and writing. I focused on connecting skills to real-world meaning—the benefits.
The result? Within two years, she went from struggling to solve two-digit addition problems to passing a community college exam that included Algebra One.
Why do I use an exam to demonstrate her success after ranting about test scores? Because Sarah took the exam because she wanted something. She took it so that she could take a community college course that would give her the real-life job skills that she wanted. Her learning was directly connected to real life, to her as a person, and to skills that would benefit her. Her choice.
All this happened because she gained agency dignity and saw herself as a person first, not a statistic. She started believing she was capable.
An adaptive education gave her a chance to rise to the level of her capabilities.
Her learning became connected to real life, her goals, and her personhood.
As highlighted by Marlena Jackson-Retondo in her article 'Falling Behind in School Hurts. Belonging Can Help Students Trust and Learn,' students who struggle academically often face diminished self-worth, impacting their sense of belonging and learning capabilities. By building trust and connection through positive reinforcement and creating safe learning environments, we, as educators, can help kids build confidence and achieve success.
Success: as measured by the life skills and self-worth required to be a kind, capable adult.
When kids feel valued, they have the space to explore their innate curiosity. When they are treated as capable, they explore their ideas. They retain intrinsic motivation—the type little kids have that prompts them to ask hundreds of questions a day, laugh with joy and excitement at small discoveries, and throw themselves into their parent’s arms.
We need to prioritize this.
We need to prioritize life-centered education
Standards aren’t inherently bad. School isn’t inherently bad. Millions of teachers are making a difference and being that person for each child all day, every day, for years and thousands of kids.
Life-centered education doesn’t mean abandoning standards; it means meeting them by prioritizing the well-being and growth of each child.
Imagine giving each child an education where they are empowered to explore, think critically, and follow their dreams—where they are seen as whole, capable individuals with endless potential. Imagine prioritizing relationships, a love of learning, and happy kids.
What would our world look like? What would each of our kids feel like? How much more laughter and excitement would there be in each day the world over?
We can give all of this to our kids. Instead of spending time mitigating problems, let’s spend the time building solutions one kid at a time. Let’s personalize education for each kid and build something beautiful for tomorrow—today.
P.S. This dream isn’t impossible. And if you’re wondering how to bring this vision to life for your own child, I can help. My Independent Learner Framework equips you with the tools to teach confidently, connect deeply, and guide your child to thrive.
Set up a free clarity call to learn more.
This resonates. I was paid for grades from K-12. I learned to pass tests and meet others’ standards.
I had to learn how to learn and how to set my own standards in adulthood.
Here’s the question I was asking myself: How can we balance system-wide accountability with the need for flexibility and personalization? Standards and tests aren’t inherently bad; they provide a baseline. But how can schools and districts embrace a “both-and” approach—meeting shared benchmarks while allowing for individualized learning paths? Could competency-based education, where students progress as they demonstrate mastery, offer a way forward?