The 2 Best Ways to Help Your Kid Learn, Remember, AND Connect
… it’s easier and a lot more fun than you realize
My husband loves telling stories.
When our kids were little, he used to tell them stories… in the morning, at the table, outside on walks, and at bedtime. He told stories on command that could lift them up, make them laugh, quiet them down, or help them learn a lesson.
When our kids were upset or got into squabbles? He told an episode of the two nutty kids story—the kids who always did dumb things and got into trouble.
When the woods behind our house seemed scary? He told them about the fantastical woodland fairy who could sprinkle a bit of magic over the world. The woods felt less daunting and more alive with adventures to be found and things to be discovered.
When they felt restless? He told stories about Greek and Hindu gods that had superhuman powers. Our kids felt like they had superpowers of their own.
The kids could listen for hours.
They also listened for hours when I read stories to them, whatever the topic.
When we added the science-y misadventures of Ms. Frizzle and the Magic School Bus they remembered every detail of the story… and the science. When they read the Horrible Histories, they cackled for what seemed like hours retelling the gory details of the stories at the table.
Science, history, culture… you name it. When they learned about something through stories, they remembered the details, discussed and debated them, and engaged and learned.
Why Stories?
Often we think of kids as having a short attention span and struggling to concentrate. We worry they won’t retain the information they’ve learned, especially with topics they don’t like. But we all have the same problem when we’re faced with learning things we don’t like, aren’t interested in, and more significantly… don’t relate to.
Stories are the great connector. They make the unknown and unrelatable—relatable. They give all of us a frame for understanding, connecting to, and remembering.
Storytelling is one of the most powerful tools for learning. It not only enhances your kid’s cognitive skills, it also strengthens your bond with your kid.
The cognitive benefits of learning through stories
Recent studies show that stories help our brains engage through a process known as neural coupling. Our kids are plugged in when they listen to a story—whatever the topic. The act of listening to the story activates multiple areas of their brain. This process helps create a shared understanding and a deep connection with the narrative. It makes the information more memorable and engaging.
Stories enhance kids’ listening skills, imagination, and memory by giving context to a topic.
Our kids became interested in exploring the woods behind our house even though it felt daunting when they were little. Why? Partly because the stories my husband told them gave them a way to connect to the adventure they might find.
His stories gave them the courage to explore. They inspired our kids to learn about the crawdads and frogs in the creek and the mini-ecosystems in the woods. The kids built a fort from fallen branches and learned to recognize poison ivy. They went from being scared to becoming avid explorers observing nature and telling themselves stories.
Similarly, Ms. Frizzle’s Magic Schoolbus adventures gave the kids a context for all kinds of science topics. They learned about microbes from the ‘Mike Robe’ gang that turned a cucumber into a pickle. It was easy to remember ‘the science’. Why? Because the story entertained them, gave context for the science, an emotional connection, and sparked their curiosity.
And the Horrible Histories? The kids can still, years later, retell what happened to Ann Bolin in vivid detail. They had no trouble retaining the information. And no trouble engaging in the broader history once they were interested.
What stories do - from telling to showing to experiencing
When our kids read about the adventures of Ms. Frizzle’s class, they loved learning the science, of microbes, space, or the physics of playing baseball. They tested out the ideas we read about. We discussed them. They looked stuff up. We even made pickles.
Instead of reading a (boring) biology lesson they couldn’t relate to or memorizing the dates of a battle that happened hundreds of years ago, they were connecting to the subject mater through stories. Once they became interested in the biology or the battle, they also looked up the less story-driven and more fact-oriented details. But the story got them there.
Instead of just telling kids the ‘facts’ a story shows kids by making the information relatable. It puts the ideas in context. The process of showing fires up kids’ brains to actively imagine what it would be like—the experience.
Once kids actively imagine, relate to, and empathize with something, they integrate that thing into their world. They are invested in it. They are in a state of learning—and have agency over their learning.
Your kids are doing this when they listen to and become absorbed in stories.
And the combination of the story and you telling the story?
It’s the bond that makes learning come alive.
When we tell our kids stories, read to them and discuss stories with our kids, we are taking that process of telling to showing to experiencing one step further. We are strengthening our emotional bond with our kid.
This helps them connect both the ‘brain activated on multiple levels’ aspect of stories with the emotional experience of a story. Even when it’s something like pickling cucumbers.
Sharing stories with your kid and strengthening the bond you share through telling or reading the story is the extra juice that helps your kid learn.
Practical tips to including stories in your kid’s learning
It’s easy to read stories to younger kids and see the value, the excitement in their faces, and the enthusiasm in their voices.
Little kids also love hearing the same story again and again. They like to memorize the events and understand the characters. I watched a three-year-old recently, at a family gathering. She sat on the floor with her mom as her mom read The Little Mermaid. The girl was an active participant, telling her mom what was coming next in the story. She was learning from retelling and interacting.
But we often forget that stories have the same educational value as kids get older.
We start to differentiate between fiction and non-fiction. We give kids subtle, yet not-so-subtle hints that chapter books and fiction are for improving their reading and language skills whereas non-fiction is for learning the subject—history, science, etc.
But what if we continue to prioritize stories as the all-important narrative that connects kids to the things they want to learn?
Gravity? Let’s read about how Newton experimented with it to figure it out. Now we have a real-world story that connects us to physics.
Radiation? We can start with Marie Curie’s quest to find out what it is and how it works. This gives us a real-world way to relate and develop an interest.
The Digestive system? Let’s take a magic bus ride through Arnold’s body to find out. It’s a lot more interesting than trying to memorize a chart with facts. But if you’re kids are anything like mine, they’ll go look up a chart to see the path the magic school bus took and discuss it, thereby learning about the digestive system… through a story.
Find and read age-appropriate stories to your kids when they’re little to create a
culture of learning through stories
a relaxed communication style with your kid
and a strong relationship with them.
As they get older and read to themselves, find books like The Magic Schoolbus, or Horrible Histories, or historical fiction. You can find stories about every topic, including science.
Keep your own family storytelling routine even when your kids are old enough to read. It’s a great way to spark conversations and generate questions.
My kids used to ask so many questions about the stories we read (fiction and non-fiction), that we often got absorbed in discussions, looking stuff up and following rabbit holes of curiosity for hours. I started keeping a list so that when we had time, we could ‘look it up’.
The stories and the ideas they sparked didn’t disappear after we finished the book. They continued to percolate in my kid’s brains, sometimes for weeks and months and years. It’s a lot easier remembering and relating to things through stories.
Takeaways
There is almost no substitute for the combination of storytelling and a strong relationship to help your kid learn.
The emotional connection you form through reading to your kid or telling stories to them gives your child a place of safety and security to be receptive to learning. Listening to stories activates their brains on a multitude of levels and helps them connect mentally and emotionally to what they learn.
By taking this holistic and almost too easy-to-be-true approach, you are giving your kid a way to learn through real-world, emotional connection. They get to use their own sense of imagination, creativity, and empathy.
What they learn stays with them. They can relate to it because they’ve formed an emotional connection. They can then build on it…because it becomes part of them.
Humans have always loved stories. We love them as kids and as adults. We just need to use them as a—fun--way to help our kids learn.
Summer is the perfect time to jump into stories. Your kids may love it so much they may never want to learn any other way.
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I wholeheartedly agree! We learn through story all the time! Found a beautiful history series all in story form we are listening to on our drive across the country this summer. Lovely post